SCREW YOU ESPN – and notes on today’s game

I hate ESPN. I am now officially going to CBS for all my sports needs. They have turned into the cool kid at school who uses his popularity to make his friends look better and marginalizing if not making fun of those he doesn’t like. I could point out all the ways that ESPN has refused to be an objective news source and has blatantly blacklisted all MWC teams for backing refusing to sign a contract with them (note: CUSA and Memphis knows exactly how I feel), but I will simply use one example:

UNLV v. Kansas game preview

Not one mention of UNLV in the game preview.

SCREW YOU ESPN. YOU AND ALL YOUR EAST COAST BIASED, UNC/DUKE SYMPATHETIC, GAWD AWFUL ANALYSTS (except for you Doug Gotlieb, you’re cool).

Now for some game notes:

– How cool is it to see Larry Johnson wearing red rooting for UNLV?

– Listened to Lon Kruger talk with Doug Gotlieb on The Herd yesterday. Seriously, is it possible to excite Lon Kruger? The guy is stoic and laid back at the same time. He is inspiring and boring all at once. This guy is amazing.

– Seven years ago as a college freshman I hapened to be in Chicago for the first round of the NCAA tourny. Before the UNLV/Tulsa game I talked up the Rebels to a large crowd at the Downtown ESPNZone (SCREW YOU ESPN), then proceeded to watch Bill Banyo be absolutely out coached by Bill Self. Well Mr. Self, that isn’t Bill Bayno on UNLV’s sideline anymore.

– ESPN is a member of the Communist Party and a Nazi sympathizer. Just thought it should be mentioned.

– Bill Self replaced Lon Kruger at Illinois.

– Ten years ago Kansas defeated a Lon Kruger coached Kansas State en route to a National Championship.

– For date night last night I took Vicky to a sports book. It was her first time. In order to ensure that she would care about today’s game as much as her husband she put 10 on UNLV straight up.

– In order to ensure myself that I would care about the game more than my wife I also put 10 on UNLV straight up.

– Guys, if you want to have the most fun in your life, take your wife to a sports book. Give her no instructions and sit back quietly and enjoy her asking the pissed off man at the counter 25 questions about making a 10 bet on a 13 point dog.

– ESPN hates black people and is the largest conglomerate of underground dogfighting.

matt

note: so I don’t get sued by an overcompensating bully of a alleged sports network – all references to ESPN have not been confirmed and probably aren’t true.

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4 Responses

  1. That is a game preview!? I thought I was reading the UK fan newsletter/biography for Kaun. Absolutely insane. Maybe they just need to understand that a preview involves breaking down what to expect in the game, not how much you love one team and think they are worthy of the own Hollywood motion picture. I am with you Screw ESPN.

  2. come on now. You’re assessment isn’t entirely accurate. They mention unlv. They say we’re short.

    Where was all this animosity when bill simmons was stroking the patri…I mean “Kobra Kai Yankees”? I didn’t hear any complaints then.

    Now, if you excuse me, one of my final four teams just lost and I need to drown my sorrows with a game of beer pong.

  3. ps. you’re espn drawing rox

  4. Listen Jake, their is a big difference for a guy whose entire column is a op. ed. piece and a supposed objective game preview.

    I’m sorry, but I’m not putting the same objective expectations on the guy who references 90210, porn and the WWE as examples to prove his points and the page that is supposed to tell us what to expect in a NCAA tournament game.

    Apples and Oranges.

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