The Silverdome Revival

In his weekly NFL column Bill Simmons points out what Jesus is doing in what I call, “The Silverdome Revival”:


11. Detroit
There’s a higher power working for these guys, and that’s not even a joke: David Fleming’s ESPN The Magazine feature about Jon Kitna contained the follow nugget: “Since (Kitna) signed a four-year, $11.5 million deal in March 2006, about 20 Lions have given their lives to

I thought that number seemed startlingly high, but just to make sure, I called my buddy House to see how many guesses he would make before he reached “20.” He started out by guessing three, then five, then seven. Then he yelled, “You’re lying!” Then he made four more guesses before getting to “15” and giving up. When I told him the answer, he screamed, “Whaaaaaat??? Jon Kitna needs to be stopped!” I thought that was funny, especially because House was drinking a beer in a bar when I called him to play the game. (He’s definitely headed to hell, and not just because he’s naming his fantasy hoops team “TRUCK PARTY” after one of the N.Y. Post headlines about the Marbury/Knicks intern sexual escapade.) But clearly, SOMETHING is going on with the Lions here, right? Twenty teammates???? Don’t we need more information about this? Did any beat writers convert? What about ball boys and trainers? It’s the single most fascinating story of the 2007 season other than Moss’ comeback and Turner and Cottrell’s slowly turning Tomlinson into a serial killer.

Here’s how you know this is Jesus – THIS IS JON KITNA. This is not the first time that God has supernaturally blessed a quarterback for his glory.


One Response

  1. My ESPN the magazine got here about a week ago and I read that article. The funny thing is it talked about him doing this same thing with every team he was at! I mean Jon Kitna is the Billy G. of the NFL. Maybe the Broncos need to sign him. The best part of the article though was that he did not come off as a cheesy obnoxious Christian but just a chill guy that other enjoyed being around. In fact Mr. Cheap ass who doesn’t even tip the pizza guy said in the article that he is young and has a lot of questions about life and he likes to talk to Kitna about spiritual matters. Maybe Kitna should first tell him not to be such a tool and slip the pizza guy a five spot.

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