The Women at Mars Hill Church really know how to blog!!

I Came across this post at the Mars Hill website written by Nadia, it is hilarious and is to often the way blogs work. Especially if you are talking about Mark Driscoll, Emergent Village, Brian McLaren, Rob Bell, Homosexuality, or the New England Patriots. Yet at the same time this is exactly the way Matt and I have built this blog into a juggernaut!  I hope you can tell I am full of it.  Seriously though, I really liked this post because on our old blog I had a post I had written about blogging etiquette that shared many of these ideas. Anyway I pasted the whole thing below so read it and enjoy.

A Concise Guide to Sensational Blogging

OK let’s get edumacated!

1. Google someone or something you know little or nothing about. Or go to Technorati and click on the first blog that pops up as popular, but you still know nothing about.

2. Cut and paste 2-3 sentences from one large paragraph of their writing to kick off your entry. Make sure not to read the whole paragraph – just select and copy at random and as quickly as possible so that you don’t accidentally pick up the context of the article.

3. Froth yourself into a vehement misinterpretation of what was said.

4. Begin writing, keeping in mind points 5-11.

5. Question your new object of fury’s credentials at every possible turn, but make sure to glibly ignore your own lack of experience. This can be done with a classic Emperor’s-New-Clothes maneuver: emphasize that your readers and the general public obviously will think the way you do.

6. Keep focused: you don’t actually want to be involved in a solution, or learning something yourself, or create good relationships. Your job is to just to shout loudly and use the original 2-3 sentences as a springboard for whatever it is that has been irritating you lately.

7. Cite other peoples’ blogs for solid reinforcement. After all, if the hearsay is published, even if it’s entirely in lower case and written by a sixteen-year-old dropout on myspace, it must be credible.

8. By no means indicate that you may not have the whole perspective.

9. If you can find a dot-com blog or newsreel that has one to two keywords that matches your subject, reference it as a link within your text, and people will be impressed that you read the Big Journalists and Bloggers AND that they fully support your opinion. They won’t have time to notice that the article is pretty much unrelated altogether.

10. Remember people want a human connection – transparency. However, sarcasm is the only medium for this transparency. Say things like “Apparently I’ve been terribly mistaken, but” or “Obviously my opinion is completely invalid, but” to preface your inflammatory paragraphs. This is the best way to grab your reader’s heart without actually having to be vulnerable or teachable.

11. Hand out LOTS of advice to the person you are trashing – remember, no regard as to whether that person is well-read or may have more experience than you on the debated topic.

12. After giving your entry a once-over, feel the power surge through your fingertips as your mouse lingers over the smite button. Oh did I say smite? I meant submit.

13. Wait for your 3 back-up singers to sign in with “word!” and more yes-man comments.

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3 Responses

  1. Manners would dictate a link to the original source.

  2. Thanks layguy for pointing that out. I thought I had originally but I can be a sloppy blogger. Maybe I will make my own list on how to run a bad blog.

  3. Nice template. Where can i download it?

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