I swear this is not a therapy session

Sorry for the lack of posting lately.

In the past I have been known to use a blog as a sounding board; as my own little therapy session. I have not written in over a week becuase I have been reticent to post lately for fear that I would make my blog my own little therapy session. I will now list all that’s going on in my life:

1. I am planting a Church. And its really hard. And for better or worse, the next month will make or break this plant.

2. There is a good chance that I could see 3 close friends get divorced this year.

3. I am struggling with the line between being solely focused on being a church planter and being a shepherd over the people God has brought so far.

4. My wife is out of work. We can’t have kids. We don’t have money to adopt. She is really struggling with what to do right now.

Then I hear Tim Keller say this, and I try not to freaking loose it at my desk:

If you are a leader… most of what is called leadership is really… 90% of what you are doing is trying to keep all the human relationships from blowing apart, all the relationships from the individuals who are underneath you. If you are ever in leadership you realize that people are always getting slated, always getting upset, always getting offended, always falling out with each other, all the time. There’s something in the water, there’s something in the air, there’s a force-field in the world, that seems to make community impossible, and yet it is the deepest need of your heart. What hope is there for us?

Thank you Tim Keller for sending me even deeper into depression.
depressing keller

I joke, he brought it back to Jesus.

Then Jesus shows up and says:
Power is coming from me,
to create a true community,
“I am your only hope, I am your only hope.

Right now I am just struggling to keep all the human relationships around me from falling apart. Struggling becuase as much as you cry, as much as you plead, sometimes it seems helpless. I am trusting with as much faith as I can muster that Jesus is building a community. That he is going to do miracles, take away sin, restore marriages, and give many people victory over the power of sin in their lives. I meditate on 1 John 3 a lot.

Matt

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2 Responses

  1. You’re doing a good thing, Matt. Persevere.

  2. Matt, my husband Mike and I are planting a church north of Montgomery, AL in quickly growing “bedroom community”. I went online with the search “pastoral frustration” and found your site! I needed encouragement today because it IS hard, but then I read your blog and saw that you needed it more than I did! I know I’m responding to an earlier post and that things are probably entirely different on this last day of August, but please know I am lifting you and your wife up in prayer as I type and that I pray you will honestly know how much God loves you and applauds your efforts on His behalf. Cling to 2 Chronicles 16:9–“For the eyes of the Lord roam the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.” ROAM THE EARTH. Think of this: when those beautiful, omnipotent eyes land upon you and your wife, they are pleased, and they seek to strengthen you. You can do whatever He calls you to do in His grace and strength.

    Take care! May God bless you with renewed strength and hope…because He WILL make a way for His own…in His way, shape, and time.

    Love in Christ,
    Danna Beale
    Deatsville, AL

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