Because I spend my life holed up in my office working on this paper, I spend crazy amounts of time home alone in isolation with no one to rant to except my dog. He usually is very supportive of my paper writing process as he lays underneath my desk on top of my feet for hours on end. Then when I need a break I get his tennis ball and throw it down the stairs and make him go fetch it, over and over, so far I have gotten him to do it 16 times before he refused to come back upstairs.
Occasionally, as I am screwing around on the internet I find something that blows my lid and I have no one to tell except Tucker. He will usually perk up and listen intently for a few words he knows such as; sit, lay down, walk, hungry, or ball. If I do not say those words I am sure he is just happy I am not a crazy person who is going to beat him. So here are a few of the things I have said to him.
1. “Tucker, can you believe that Ms. Spears has done the impossible? Made K-Fed look like the more fit parent for a young child.” I mean hell, you can not tell me that if you had a child and you had to leave them for the weekend with brittney or Kevin, you would leave them with brittney. Hell no, I would be going to K-fed in a heartbeat.
2. “Tucker, why do Broncos players keep dying?” This is sad, but if I had a “my name is Earl theology” I would think someone in the Broncos organization really did something awful in the recent past.
3. “Tucker can you believe that news stations have aired over 114,000 Anna Nicole Smith segments since her death?” Yeah this is just pathetic, I mean a crazy ex-playmate dies and we (America) gather like vultures to garner pleasure from this story.
4. “Tucker can you believe the guy from Titanic found Jesus!” Now this is just fun to tell people, it makes it out as if Mr. Cameron has come to love Jesus, but this is not the case, he simple has refuted the resurrection and make a lot of money in the process. There really is a deep undercurrent in our culture right now that is anti-Christian.
5. “Tucker can you believe that the Knicks might make the playoffs!” This is truly astounding, and I think Isaiah should get to punch Simmons in the face if they do. I think that would be fair, and I would pay to see it. Now who is the depraved vulture that wants to get entertainment from the suffering of others.
6. “Tucker I know you can hear this, but Andy Stanley is doing a great job with the series on temptation called Pause.” Yeah, Yeah this is just as bad as Steve McCoy admiting to digging Nick Lachey, and Ashley Simpson. But I gotta be honest, his series has actually be very good and even convicting for me to listen to. He does a good job at being missional, confrontational, and pastorally loving all at the same time. Go Stanly.
So yeah this are things my dog and I have been talking about. He tends to agree with me to often, even when I am sure I am wrong.
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