GOD’S TEAM
11. Detroit
There’s a higher power working for these guys, and that’s not even a joke: David Fleming’s ESPN The Magazine feature about Jon Kitna contained the follow nugget: “Since (Kitna) signed a four-year, $11.5 million deal in March 2006, about 20 Lions have given their lives to
Christ.”
I thought that number seemed startlingly high, but just to make sure, I called my buddy House to see how many guesses he would make before he reached “20.” He started out by guessing three, then five, then seven. Then he yelled, “You’re lying!” Then he made four more guesses before getting to “15″ and giving up. When I told him the answer, he screamed, “Whaaaaaat??? Jon Kitna needs to be stopped!” I thought that was funny, especially because House was drinking a beer in a bar when I called him to play the game. (He’s definitely headed to hell, and not just because he’s naming his fantasy hoops team “TRUCK PARTY” after one of the N.Y. Post headlines about the Marbury/Knicks intern sexual escapade.) But clearly, SOMETHING is going on with the Lions here, right? Twenty teammates???? Don’t we need more information about this? Did any beat writers convert? What about ball boys and trainers? It’s the single most fascinating story of the 2007 season other than Moss’ comeback and Turner and Cottrell’s slowly turning Tomlinson into a serial killer.
Here’s how you know this is Jesus – THIS IS JON KITNA. This is not the first time that God has supernaturally blessed a quarterback for his glory.
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Only there were flies at the bottom of the bottle. We’ll call these flies hubris and arrogance.